Friday, November 18, 2011

Things that have slowed the ol' heartbeat

So proud of myself for my first week of being positive and loving life again. We may or may not have had a "Come to Reality" meeting last weekend, and I may or may not have been on the receiving part of that. Just like Cash's sister-in-law told me, it didn't seem like it at the moment, but I can already see why it was so important. This week I've been much happier with myself than I have been since...well, since I can remember.

It's not like I've been feeling bad about weight or hair or clothes...I just haven't felt myself in so long. I was stressed to the brink with work, because I allowed myself to feel that way. I was snapping at my friends and family for everything they never did wrong. And I was spending excess time "socializing" on media outlets instead of really spending time with the same people.

But in order to de-stress and allow myself to have fun in everyday life like I used to have, I decided to start letting it all go. Work isn't perfect? Let it go. My kids say something that hurts me after spending countless hours pouring into their lives? Let it go. I don't get to see Cash the moment I want to? Let it go. Because at the end of the day, I have a good job and great kids and an even more wonderful group of friends and family. I wasn't seeing any of that, because I was spending too much time picking out the small things.

Anywayyyyy, this week I started trying to find the humor in those things that just last week would have sent me over the edge. Like...

1. One morning the first period bell rang, and I turned around to walk into class. I ran face first into my cabinet. I just looked at one of my girls and started laughing.

2. My boss wanted to have a meeting, so instead of stressing over anything she might say...I went in with the biggest smile and positive attitude knowing that I have been working to the best of my ability. And the meeting ended up being really positive, and she was never mad at me in the first place. Saved myself a lot of stress. And, honestly, I felt much more professional when I left knowing we had accomplished so much.

3. Bequette needed a haircut something fierce. The other night I grabbed the scissors and took a couple chunks out of his hair. Oh, my. It was ugly. Last night I was at my parents' house and decided to get out the horse clippers. I couldn't get it close enough, so I took the guard off. Whoops. I have a mullet dog. Good thing we live in Arkansas.

It has been such a great week and not because of anything special--because I've just allowed myself to have a great week. And to think...I did it all without Zija. ;)


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