Can we just start with a shout out to our Lord? I want to go back to 1997 right now and raise the roof. For real. Because God's "got it going on." I truly believe that if King David was alive today, the Psalms would read more like that.
You would think as many times as I have taken the reigns in my life that I would have learned my lesson by now. But no. I apprently didn't. However, when a Monday back to work sounds like relief from the weekend, then you know it's been a bbaaaadddd weekend.
When I decided to pursue Christ, it was easy at first. Like..I just loved loving Him. And we had this pure relationship that manifested in my daily life. Oh, I could just praise and worship all day long. But then came reality. And reality was that Satan was going to attack me at every possible curve. The really scary thing about Satan is that a lot of time he does his little sneak attack..where he just weasles into your life and the BAM hits you in the face. It's almost like he laughs when he does it, because he knows how he just disrupted not just your life but also your relationship with God.
The really neat thing about our relationships with Christ, however, is that His grace is unending. Several days ago my dad and I were talking on the way home from the hospital just about life. Tears began rolling down my face as he talked, and for the first time in my life he just reached over and grabbed my hand. He told me it was all going to be okay. (Okay..he didn't just say that..because he has infinite amounts of wisdom.) I just listened to my father talk and heard his heart for me unfold. I've always known my dad loves me...but never to this extent. He just poured into me like I was a bottomless vase..and I was grappling for every word he said.
I couldn't wrap my mind around it though. I said to him, "But what if God is telling me something different? I don't even know what He wants from me anymore!!" My dad looked at me and said, "God doesn't always talk through a burning bush..sometimes God talks through your dad." I sat in silence for quite some time.
What you're thinking is that I probably soaked in my dad's advice and went on. But I have to admit that I didn't. I ignored it, because that was easier. And a couple days later I was wishing I had listened to my dad a lot sooner! He truly did know.
Having to wait on God seems bad...until you wish you would have waited on God. I try to take matters into my own hands at times. I don't know why either.
When I was little (and still today), I loved my dad telling me how I pretty I was or that I did a good job on a paper or that I was the best in my game. I distinctly remember every Monday night during football season standing between him and the TV during commercials as he threw a ball into the air to get it over my head. I would jump as high as I could to swat it down. As I got older, my vertical got higher, and I beat him a lot more. But even when I got to where I could touch the ceiling, my dad and I would play that game when my mom wasn't looking.
Then there were the Sunday mornings before church that we would get up and watch "Meet the Press." We would argue as he is Democrat and I Republican. We would have it out all the way to church and try to make the preacher's sermon fit our side of the controversy. I remember when Tim Russert died. My dad and I just sat there that first Sunday morning not knowing what to do without our Meet the Press ritual.
I could go on and on with stories about my dad. But I'll sum it up in this: I can't fathom his love for me. When I play Cinderella, he wants to keep me from every frog, prince, and white horse. Even today. That's the same way with my Heavenly Father. Sometimes I play Cinderella, and I try to find my own Prince Charming. But God just wraps His giant love around me, and He escorts me back with His grace. I got a good dose of that escorting this weekend. I've never heard my Father audibly speak, but I think I almost heard Him yell at me a little bit.
But I praise Him for it. I made a hard decision today I didn't want to make. But I made the decision following God, knowing He was there to comfort me and to love me. Once I followed Him with both words and action, He restored my peace. He gave me light when a moment earlier I felt surrounded by darkness. I guess I conclude with one thing...we might play Cinderella, but God needs to be the writer of the script.